
I remember when my great grandmother came to visit us from the Old Country. *** It was my nana’s first trip abroad, and her first trip anywhere on her own. *** My great grandfather had died a year earlier at the grand old age of one hundred & nine, when he was accidentally crushed to death […]
Honk-honk — t r e f o l o g y
I remember when
my great grandmother
came to visit us
from the Old Country.
***
It was my nana’s
first trip abroad, and
her first trip anywhere
on her own.
***
My great grandfather
had died a year
earlier at the grand
old age of
one hundred & nine,
when he was
accidentally
crushed to death by
his own hat.
***
Fortunately for my nana
they had managed to save
a small fortune.
***
My great grandfather
never trusted banks, so he
kept all of his money
hidden in his mattress, and
he kept his mattress
in a money-market account,
in hopes that one day,
God willing,
they would have accrued
enough interest to buy
themselves something
comfortable to sleep on.
***
But now
my great grandmother
used that money
to travel to the states
to begin a life anew.
***
Problem:
Nana spoke not a
word of English,
and we, in turn, spoke
not a word of
Old Country.
***
Fortunately, my father
came up with a novel
solution, which came to
him after a night spent
watching Marx Brothers
films.
***
Like, Harpo Marx,
our nana could learn to
communicate with a
horn!
***
Problem: the only
horn we had was the
horn attached to my
father’s Cadillac.
***
This was solved by
moving my great grandmother
out of the back cottage
and into the garage.
***
And over time, she became
quite adept at communicating
with the car-horn.
***
What follows is a brief list of
what each car-honk meant.
***
One car honk: Can somebody bring old granny her tobacco?
Two car honks: Old granny is still waiting on her tobacco.
Three car honks: Did every-body forget about old granny?
Four car honks: Old granny is taking the caddy out to buy tobacco
***
The came the holidays
and with relatives arriving
we knew we had to find a
better solution …
***
End of Part One