Honk-honk — t r e f o l o g y

I remember when my great grandmother came to visit us from the Old Country. *** It was my nana’s first trip abroad, and her first trip anywhere on her own. *** My great grandfather had died a year earlier at the grand old age of one hundred & nine, when he was accidentally crushed to death […]

Honk-honk — t r e f o l o g y

I remember when

my great grandmother

came to visit us

from the Old Country.

***

It was my nana’s

first trip abroad, and

her first trip anywhere

on her own.

***

My great grandfather

had died a year

earlier at the grand

old age of

one hundred & nine,

when he was

accidentally

crushed to death by

his own hat.

***

Fortunately for my nana

they had managed to save

a small fortune.

***

My great grandfather

never trusted banks, so he

kept all of his money

hidden in his mattress, and

he kept his mattress

in a money-market account,

in hopes that one day,

God willing,

they would have accrued

enough interest to buy

themselves something

comfortable to sleep on.

***

But now

my great grandmother

used that money

to travel to the states

to begin a life anew.

***

Problem:

Nana spoke not a

word of English,

and we, in turn, spoke

not a word of

Old Country.

***

Fortunately, my father

came up with a novel

solution, which came to

him after a night spent

watching Marx Brothers

films.

***

Like, Harpo Marx,

our nana could learn to

communicate with a

horn!

***

Problem: the only

horn we had was the

horn attached to my

father’s Cadillac.

***

This was solved by

moving my great grandmother

out of the back cottage

and into the garage.

***

And over time, she became

quite adept at communicating

with the car-horn.

***

What follows is a brief list of

what each car-honk meant.

***

One car honk: Can somebody bring old granny her tobacco?

Two car honks: Old granny is still waiting on her tobacco.

Three car honks: Did every-body forget about old granny?

Four car honks: Old granny is taking the caddy out to buy tobacco

***

The came the holidays

and with relatives arriving

we knew we had to find a

better solution …

*** 

End of Part One

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