Politics
• Benjamin Disraeli often was forced to deal with hecklers. One person shouted, in an attempt to disrupt his speech, “Speak up! I can’t hear you.” Mr. Disraeli responded, “Truth travels slowly, but it will reach even you in time.” On another occasion, someone shouted that Disraeli’s rich wife had picked him out of the gutter. Mr. Disraeli responded, “My good fellow, if you were in the gutter, no one would pick you out.”
• In 1963, Adlai Stevenson went to Dallas, where a group of far-right extremists confronted him. Afterward, he said, “A woman hit me on the head with a placard, and a man hit me on the cheek with a different weapon. … I asked the angry police not to prefer charges against them, not to punish them; after all, I didn’t want them to go to jail — I thought it would be better if they went to school.”
• In the 1920s, politician Al Rabinowitz concluded a rousing speech about why he should be elected, and then he asked for comments from the audience. A pushcart peddler stood and said, “Mr. Rabinowitz, if you and I would campaign together all over New York, we could tell more lies than any other two men, and I wouldn’t have to open my mouth.”
• Margaret Trudeau, the wife of Pierre, Prime Minister of Canada, was a free spirit. Frequently, the smell of marijuana drifted from the windows of the Ottawa residence of the Prime Minister, and a local police officer once gave her a gift of incense in an attempt to disguise the smell of the marijuana smoke.
• President Lyndon Baines Johnson once got out of a limousine and walked toward some helicopters in Vietnam. A young military attaché told President Johnson, “Sir, your helicopter is over there.” President Johnson replied, “Son, they’re all my helicopters.”
• In the good old days, Senator George Vest was making a speech when the gaslights went out. Senator Vest announced, “I shall continue my speech. However, when the last person gets ready to leave the hall, let me know and I’ll stop.”
• Lady Bird Johnson was more of a feminist than she has been given credit for. Frequently, when her husband, President Lyndon Johnson, returned home, she would ask him, “What have you done for women today?”
Practical Jokes
• Judi Dench’s co-stars enjoy teasing her. While John Miller was researching his biography of her, he witnessed a fluff by Ms. Dench while she was acting in a TV series. Geoffrey Palmer told Mr. Miller loudly, so Judi would hear, “Make sure you put this in your book, John — she isn’t always perfect!” On another occasion, Mr. Miller was talking with Billy Connolly, who also spoke loudly so she could hear, “Sssshh, she’s coming — I’ll finish telling you later.” In addition, once when Ms. Dench was being interviewed, she laughed when she heard Mr. Connolly tease her by screaming in the next room, “She was a nightmare to work with.”
• In 1916, Casey Stengel bet Brooklyn Dodger manager Wilbert Robinson that he couldn’t catch a baseball thrown out of an airplane. Wilbert accepted the bet, and Casey got an airplane with an open cockpit. As Wilbert stood in the field wearing a baseball mitt, Casey and the pilot flew over the field. At this time, one of the greatest practical jokes in baseball occurred. Casey didn’t throw a baseball from the plane — he threw a grapefruit which splattered all over Wilbert’s chest. Wilbert was so angry that Casey was forced to stay in hiding until he was forgiven.
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Copyright by Bruce D. Bruce; All Rights Reserved
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