David Bruce: Be a Work of Art — Activism, Advertising, Advice

Activism

• The 4th Amendment to the United States Constitution says this: “The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.” Many people consider X-rays that show their private parts during Homeland Security screenings at airports to be a violation of their civil rights. One way to silently protest this loss of our precious freedom is to wear 4th Amendment underwear. This underwear has the 4th Amendment printed in metallic ink on undershirts and underwear. The metallic ink is supposed to make the 4th Amendment show up on airport scanners. What about children? Should strangers be allowed to look at children’s private parts at airports? Children can wear 4th Amendment underwear that says this: “READ THE 4TH AMENDMENT, PERVERTS.” The people who invented this idea say this: “We found metallic type that could, in theory, show up on TSA scanners that would display the 4th Amendment. The clothes are designed as a silent protest against the new reality of being searched to the point where we’re basically naked. We don’t intend for this to be anything more than a thought-provoking way to fuel the debate about safety vs. civil liberties. If we sell a few items, great. But the main intention is to open more dialogue. It’s more of a conceptual piece than anything else.”

• In 2010, General Electric reported worldwide profits of $14.2 billion. Last year, you reported personal income of how much? Who paid more in American federal income tax? Chances are, you did. Why? Because in 2010 General Electric paid no American federal corporate income tax, according to a 24 March 2011 New York Timesarticle by David Kocieniewski. (Neither did Bank of America, which got a $336 billion bailout in 2009 and paid no American federal corporate income tax in 2010. These facts upset lots of patriotic Americans who pay their fair share of taxes, and some began writing or rubber-stamping messages on $1 bills. One message says, “This is $1 more than GE has paid in taxes.” Another says, “This is $1 more than the Bandits of America (BOA) paid in taxes.” One way to show that you love your country is to pay your fair share of taxes.

Advertising

• After winning $30,000 in the 1978 Burger King Open in Miami, Florida, professional bowler Randy Lightfoot was asked by a TV announcer if he would use any of his winnings to buy Whoppers at Burger King. He replied, “No,” and Burger King very quickly dropped its sponsorship of professional bowling tournaments.

• Heywood Broun once reviewed a Broadway comedy as “a triumph of dullness and vulgarity.” Immediately, the advertisements for the comedy blared “‘A triumph’ — Broun in the ‘Tribune.’”

Advice

• A man once came to Rabbi Yehudah Asad to ask his advice. The man explained that he wished to buy a run-down store, fix it up, and make his living from it. The Rabbi advised him not to buy the store. Later, a different man came to the Rabbi to ask about the same store. He said that he wished to buy the run-down store, fix it up with the help of God, and make his living from it. The Rabbi advised him to buy the store. Later, the first man came to the Rabbi and asked about the difference in advice. The Rabbi explained that the second man would ask for the help of God in fixing up the store, whereas the first man had wanted to fix up the store without the help of God. A person who has help from God has an excellent chance of making a success.

***

Copyright by Bruce D. Bruce; All Rights Reserved

***

Be a Work of Art — Buy

Be a Work of Art — Buy the Paperback

Be a Work of Art — Buy Kindle

Be a Work of Art — Buy Apple

Be a Work of Art — Buy Barnes and Noble

Be a Work of Art — Buy Kobo

Be a Work of Art — Buy Smashwords: Many formats, including PDF

This entry was posted in Anecdotes, Funny and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s